I think many of them just figured we’d get divorced at some point, everyone was doing it. I really hope she was strongly discouraged from marrying to be honest because if she wasn’t and they believed we wouldn’t make it what does that say about them, but I digress.

My family life had been riddled with divorce from childhood and hers was no better. We talked about this quite a bit early on and even do today. We have always been conscious of breaking this generations old cycle from the beginning and this goal hasn’t changed.

These ten years haven’t been easy and I have no qualms in saying that lesser people would not have made it. This doesn’t necessarily mean we are better than anyone else but it does mean that together we can weather whatever is thrown at us. We have proven this to ourselves and others time and time again.

We both come from humble beginnings and recognize the fact that we have never asked anyone for anything (this is easier to do when people don’t offer you anything). We were not the kids getting new cars as graduation gifts or having school paid for by parents that could plan for the future. We’ve never been given grand gifts or had our home furnished by in-laws. We do it ourselves or it doesn’t get done. It takes a little longer, this road we walk, but we tend to find the road less ridden with potholes and when we look back the road is truly ours. No one else has taken up residence along the way.

To the contrary, we give as often as we can and in every circumstance we can. I’ll be the first to admit that most of this generosity comes from my wife. She has a heart that is as big and strong as anything you can imagine. She puts herself into some pretty undesirable situations just so she can help. She never says no, even when I ask her to. I, on the other hand, take a much harder line. I’m not about enabling people. I believe pain and loss builds character. While these things may not sound terrible, and possibly even logical to many of you, my core being would allow them to pass to a fault. This is where we balance one another the most I believe.

We didn’t do much to celebrate our anniversary, not compared to what tradition dictates. We simply spent the day together. We actually had two complete meals without children. We took a long walk in the woods while holding hands. We visited some art galleries and even bought a couple of pieces to hang in the house. We painted some pottery and thought about what the next ten years will bring. We didn’t exchange gifts. We rarely do.

This post could go on and on. It is best to end it by saying how much I still love my wife today and how this is so much more than the day we declared our love for one another (though I would not have though it possible to love her more back then). She is my better half. There is absolutely no doubt about that.

Maybe in another post I’ll share how these kids of ours have changed our life but for today it is about us, and only us.

This is the song we chose to play during our wedding ceremony. It is more true today than ever before.

Moments after walking in the door this evening the phone rings and it’s my eldest son.

Son: “Dad, what’s up?”

Dad: “Not much, just walking in the door. What’s up with you?”

Son: “Well, I wanted to see what you’re doing Saturday night.”

Dad: “This weekend is pretty busy. What time are you talking about?”

Son: “6:30. It’s prom this weekend and I called to see if you wanted to take some pictures. We can just have some printed for you if you’re too busy.” -no sarcasm, just sincerity

Dad: “I’m pretty sure I can change around whatever might have been planned. Where do you need me to be?”

When I got off the phone my wife asked who it was and I couldn’t wait to fill her in. She was as excited about this opportunity as I was.

You see, we don’t hear from the boy often. He’s a big kid now and the weekend visits stopped long ago (around the time he got his drivers license, job and girlfriend). We miss him a lot but we also make sure to not push ourselves on him. This is when many years worth of being “the other” parent teaches one patience and restraint.

It’s funny though because the time we spend together now is usually because he initiated it. The occasional weekday dinners or half an hour texting sessions mean so damn much it just chokes me up. -no sarcasm, just sincerity

When you spend years picking up your kids at a court ordered time you begin to lose faith in the notion that those kids really want to be with you outside those times.

Thanks for the call son. I really needed that.

I sang a song at a whispers tone. I sang of her pretty face and beautiful smile, of her big heart and her love for her family. The song felt like it was over until she turned to me and said, "You forgot my hair daddy. My hair is beautiful too."

And so it is. One last verse and off to sleep she went.

In this country, did you know that you need to be 18 years old, and meet a slew of other requirements (including some kind of background check) to even be eligible to take an animal home from the local animal shelter? This is to ensure the animal will be placed in a good home, be well taken care of, fed properly, etc., etc., etc. (call your local shelter to check the veracity of these statements). Yet every day, newborns are taken home from hospitals by parents who didn’t want them to begin with, have substance abuse problems, or are simply still children themselves. What chance do these children have? Who are their champions? Sadly, these newborns’ futures are pretty predictable.

Whenever I hear of another sickening story involving the aforementioned I find solace in parenting blogs, albeit a small number. Unfortunately, loving, being proud of, and caring for your children is not nearly as newsworthy as its alternative, otherwise, we’d all be celebrities.

If only all children could have the childhood they all deserve. If only deserving couples who, for whatever reason, are unable to conceive could take over the parenting of unwanted infants children. If only all children’s futures were as important as those of pets. If only.

My wife writes…

It’s horrible to hear about some of the things people do to each other, but even more heartbreaking when the victim is a child; somehow worse still when it’s their own child… These kinds of stories make me want to hold my own children close for a moment and say a little prayer of thanks.

You’re right, it does seem that sometimes we as a society care more these days about treating animals humanely than other humans. I’ve also often thought how ironic it is that you have to get a license to drive a car, after taking required classes that explain how to properly handle one and a test to show that you can do so successfully. Not the case with parenthood, and the end results are so much more important. If only there were some sort of license required to be a parent.

I find it heartening to talk with other people (whether in person or in a forum such as this) who are just trying to be the best parents they can be to children who, thankfully, will never understand exactly how lucky they are.

We started with baby cereal for 5 days and we tried feeding her carrots for the first time just recently. She was not crazy about carrots at first but ended up liking them by the end of her feeding.

True to form, I am behind in the “daddy” aspect of this milestone. I still have not pulled down the old high chair from the attic, and we feed her in her swing. Maybe this weekend (yeah right!).

When feeding time comes I strip the baby down to her diaper and put on a bib. I do this out of necessity as baby food stains are hard to get out. When I started doing this a few days ago my wife laughed and said I used to do the same thing to Son#1 at this stage in his life. We did this so often that when he was around 2 my wife called him to dinner at a family get together and he promptly stripped down to his diaper. I guess we needed to work on his table manners.

Feeding my kids at this age is definitely one of the highlights in life. A time when I feel the worlds problems slip away, if only for a few moments. My biggest responsibility is getting that little spoon into that sweet little mouth. If only life stayed that simple.