We figure it shouldn’t take much to construct one. Some stone and a little concrete should do just fine. We could even get it done on the cheap and just use mud to keep it together. The mud might lend a bit of romance to the structure allowing it to age quickly.
We took a long drive to Colorado last year. While we drove, and the kids slept, we listened to “The Secret Life of Bees” audio book. Great story. One of the main characters carries sorrow on her sleeve with such urgency and transparency that her sisters send her away to their version of the wailing wall when the emotion gets too intense. She always returns looking a bit lighter for having shed the weight of the sorrow, however temporary it may be.
When we listened to this part of the story my wife and I looked at each other and said, “Jada needs a wailing wall.”
Jada is one emotional little girl. She’ll be fine one moment and just crushed the next. For her there’s always some act that justifies her sorrow. The issue is the lack of rhyme or reason. She may crash because she’s frustrated she can’t get her shoes on properly, or because she woke from her nap too soon. Maybe a bug landed on her while playing outside. Who knows. What sets her off one day, or hour, may not set her off the next.
She’s also a master at bringing her mother, sisters or I into the breakdown. If she feels slighted in the least by ones actions the response has been, “but you’re my daaahhhdddeee (or mmaahhmmeee or siiissttaahhh)” with the saddest little eyes you could possibly imagine. It’s kind of adorable when it isn’t making us twitch.
To try and combat this behavior, and help Jada work through it, we encourage her to use words to express herself rather than sobbing. She has a great vocabulary so the notion that she can’t express herself shouldn’t apply. We try introducing distractions also. We’re hoping the older she gets (she’ll be three next week) the less the meltdowns will occur. Hoping.
What seems to work best is just sending her to her room. We don’t do this in some disciplinary fashion. We simply tell her if she can’t calm down on her own, or won’t let us help her get over whatever crisis is unfolding, there is little reason the rest of need to listen to her. Nine times out of ten she takes this request and runs with it, emerging minutes later with the proclamation that she is done crying.
I’d be remiss if I didn’t share that Jada is an exceptionally happy kid most of the time. Let’s just say she has a firm handle on the extremes and we’re going to continue to work on living in between them.
For the moment we’ll just stay stocked up on ear plugs and tissues. Something tells me that living in a house full of girls these items are going to come in handy anyway.
You just described my Zia–to a T (or Z). It gets better, if that helps.
.-= Ed´s last blog ..Day Trip. Biking the Kokosing Trail =-.
Wow, that was like reading my youngest daughter’s biography. She would have the most severe emotional outbursts for the darnedest reasons. We eventually had to institute the same response you did: if you can’t calm down here, you must go to your room and have your outburst there. And she would, and eventually would feel better. Her “events” would get pretty scary sometimes, sending her older sister into a panic, one time even causing her to call her mom and ask for help because “daddy isn’t doing anything about it” (that’s a whole nother story, as they say).
She finally seems to have turned it around, and is the most emotionally stable kid we have currently. She finally learned how to self-soothe, and how to control her emotions to keep them from getting out of hand. In her case, she was twelve years old when that finally happened. Your mileage may vary.
.-= Tom´s last blog ..Questions and Answers =-.
I was girl, once, long ago. I was happy until I hit puberty. I was a VERY moody teenager. Extreme was my middle name. My mother got her revenge. I have a teenager exactly like I was. I needed and still need the wailing wall.
But, when the girls were younger, I was lucky. They were both pretty happy, pretty stable, too full of wonder at the world to have huge emotional outbursts.
When you live with the female persuasion, you will have LOTS of emotion to contend with. I know, I lived with six other females growing up.
Emotion. It’s what makes us special.
.-= SurprisedMom´s last blog ..Monday Mumblings 7 or Serving the Public =-.
Apparently emotional meltdowns are not only limited to girls. A wailing wall may be just what my boy needs too, one that can stand up to head banging.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Tea party? =-.
@Ed – Yes, that does help.
@Tom – 12? Really! Doesn’t it start back up again at 13?
@SurprisedMom – Emotion is certainly one of the things that makes your lot “special”
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@Tara R – You know, there has been a time or two I could have used that wall as well.
Thanks for the comments gang!
And I thought it was just my daughter that was like this
Quite often we take her to her bedroom so that she can have some quiet time. In some of these situations it is definitely best to let her chill out for a while.
On a side note – love the new look of the site, I’ve not stopped by for a while.
.-= Gareth´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Gemma =-.
Secret Life Of Bees, ONE of my all time favorites.
I like this idea, truly.
I have two sides of the spectrum.
1. Miss Redhead, will break down in tears and expect sympathy (sorry, babe, not going to work).
2. Miss Blondie, has serious anxiety problems and cannot let her worries go.
I am thinking that perhaps Emmy might benefit from a wailing wall in all honesty. She has a hard time letting go and to have a physical presence might actually do her good.
In the end we might just try anything for a little peace!
.-= Treemama´s last blog ..Thoughts From The Herb Patch =-.
Where do you have the building materials stashed? I’ll help with contruction! Love you Jadae.