Disinformation is most effective in a very narrow context. – Frank Snepp
When I think of how we communicate and find information now, as opposed to just a few years ago, it sets my head to spinning.
Texting on a phone barely leaves room for a complete thought. The same can be said of services like Twitter with its 140 character limit. While I kind of like the idea of learning to get a point across in as few words as possible the truth of the matter is, a conversation online may span days or weeks and a handful of messages amid other conversations and other messages. The context is easily lost.
Goodness knows many adults have a problem keeping and placing comments and conversations, whether online or off, in the proper context. So the question for the parent becomes, “How and when do I teach my child the value of context in day to day conversations?”
My oldest kids are 18 and 14. The 18 year old does a pretty good job of getting the full context before reacting or making a decision based upon something he heard or read. The 14 year old is a different story. She lives in a world filled with text messages and abbreviated facebook conversations. I believe the notion of getting the full context is just too much work for her if it requires scrolling beyond a few screens. It’s probably important to point out that she does understand context. She just doesn’t seek it. Hopefully she will realize the benefit of the seeking part before it bites her. However, she is a teen and they like to learn through mistakes it seems, at least I did.
In addition to the two teenagers I also have three younger kids, all girls and all under the age of 5. The 3 and 4 year old speak and communicate very well. The seven month old just wonders why no one else speaks her language. We do teach the idea of context to the 3 and 4 years old, explaining it as “the whole story”. I think they get it. They understand when they come to their mother or I with a complaint or need we often ask the why or how questions rather than just handing out some punishment or object of their desire. This comes at a cost though and is where I think the value of context can be tarnished.
When you teach a young child the value of telling or seeking the whole story they actually get in the habit of doing this. Even when you may be too tired to hear it, or too tired to answer it, or too preoccupied to entertain it. They bring the story or questions with them. Every. Single. Time. How we react to this when we just haven’t got it in us is a pretty big deal. I’ve found the best thing is to just be honest about it and tell them you need 15 minutes, or you’ll get to the bottom of it tomorrow or some such thing. I’m hoping that if we can stick with this practice and set the proper example now the shift to defining and seeking context in their online world will not be the struggle or after-thought it is for many people today.
Just don’t cast their inquiries and investigative nature aside, or leave them with the impression that context isn’t important. It is important, and they should know it.
Chuck, you have an excellent point, and I think the depth of loss of context is a lot greater than most of us realize.
I hadn’t really give it much thought, but you’re right – our continual march toward more immediacy and quicker throughput I think is seriously crippling our ability to explore ideas and communicate deeper than surface level.
I’m going to have to ponder this for a while because there’s a lot to this topic.
Great post, Chuck.
Tom´s last blog ..Questions and Answers
This is such a wonderful post! The loss of the depth of context is so important, but I think few people recognize this. As as former reporter/editor I saw it happening slowly through the years. At first we were able to write throughly even if the story was lengthy. Then we were told this many inches and then the inch count became lower and lower. Today, it’s pictures or video and a brief caption. How do you explain a complex issue that way?
As for children, I can see their impatience fed by all those forms of media you mentioned. They don’t seek context because it doesn’t come in short bursts.
I have two girls, 18 and 15. I think my saving grace is that both love to read. They both have been reading novels for a long time. I think it helps them with delving through information to get the correct context. The 18 year old is more patient than the 15 year old with this process. Hopefully with age will come more patience.
Thanks for a terrific post!
SurprisedMom´s last blog ..Living above Grandma
Mixed feelings on this one. I do agree with Chuck that kids tend do lose the concept of in depth conversation or discussion. It is vitally important to continue to engage your kids in one on one “full context” talks.
However, as was alluded to in the post, age does have a way of changing things. Young kids look to you and hang on your every word, teenagers are more interested in their friends and blow by you at record pace, grown up kids, nice deeper conversations. This has been going on for as long as there are teenagers.
However, having meaningful conversations at any age will hopefully, create successful productive people who can use the English language correctly instead of speaking like a text message.
Barry´s last blog ..The Favorite Single Parent Syndrome
@Tom – Thanks Tom. I need to continue exploring this too. Things have changed and this should change how this topic is introduced to the kids. I think.
@SurprisedMom – I really like the reporter/editor comparison. That is precisely how I think of it. Something to nurture, not squash.
@Barry – I completely agree that teenagers blow by their parents. I probably did a poor job of explaining this but, I think the post was intended to recognize this behavior in teens and plant the seed of making sure it doesn’t push into the life of the younger kids too quickly. The sooner we parents teach them the value of context the more likely they are to return to it. Welcome!