The boy and his stone
Jan 7th, 2009 | By Mike | Category: Highlight, Papa PrattleA young boy was once given a stone. It was no ordinary stone. It was comfortable to hold, iridescent and warm. When held the stone would hum a faint beautiful melody. In the the boy’s eyes the stone was perfect in almost every way. In fact, its only blemish was some faint carving that had almost worn off over time.
The boy happily accepted the stone and began to play with it. He would wrap and re-wrap ribbons around it for hours at a time. He would curl up into a quiet corner to listen to it’s sweet, sweet music. He would forsake his friends, family, and other toys to be with his beloved stone.
The boy’s parents would take the stone away from time to time and try to make him play with his friends, but the boy would scowl, and sit silently while his friends played around him. They would eventually leave him alone and play amongst themselves.
Time went by as the boy played with his stone. One day he looked up and was startled to see an old man peering at him through a window pane. The boy jumped up to run away and so did the old man. It was at that moment that the boy saw his stone in the old mans hand. He angrily reached out for it, but realized the stone was still in his own hand as well.
Puzzled, the boy looked closely at the old man and realized it was only his reflection. He looked around him and realized that the world around him had changed. Years had passed. His siblings had all grown up and left home. He was all alone.
He sadly looked down at his old, bony hands as they tightly clutched his beloved stone. As he looked at the stone the writing carved on it from long ago looked clearer to him in this light than it ever had before. It read “Do Something Else With Your Life”.
He sat and he cried, but there was no one to blame but himself. He could have spent more time with his family, but instead wasted his life playing with his stone. It became clear to him now that the carvings were meant as a warning to others who would be mesmerized by the stone’s iridescent beauty, and beckoning music. He furiously carved the words deeper into the stone’s surface so they would be more legible to someone else. He opened the window, and threw the stone as far as he could. He did not have the heart to destroy the stone, or bury it, but he needed to get rid of it. Alas, it was too late.
Time only moves forward, and the time wasted today in trivial pursuits can never be regained. Spend what time you have on earth wisely……… with the ones you love.
I wrote this short story yesterday for my son who is addicted to his Nintendo DS. The stone is a metaphor for that infernal machine.
His older sister, whom he adores dearly, only comes to visit us 2 weeks out of every year. He longs for her visits, but spends his time in his room and plays with his DS, even while she is here. We just put her on a plane bound back to her home last Sunday, and he’s been beside himself with grief that the time he spent with her was too short, yet he made little effort to be with the family while she was here. We frequently had to coax him to come spend time with us.
The DS has been an on-going battle in our household for quite a while. Against my wishes, and better judgment, it was given to him by my ex-wife as a Christmas present two Christmases ago. I refused it at first, but to keep the peace between my daughter and her vindictive mother I begrudgingly allowed it. It has been a problem for us ever since. Most of her children are video game zombies. It is her way of getting peace and quiet after a hard day’s work, and I think it might have been her parting shot at my new family. We’ve been divorced for 14 years, but the bad blood between us is ever present. I can hear her cackling in satisfaction as she flies off on her broom after reading this. Her mission completed.
I am struggling with just taking the DS away and letting him play with it for only limited amounts of time per week or letting him figure out for himself what is really important in life. In the meantime I am having to deal with the moping, sobbing and wallowing in self pity from him missing his sister. It might be time for some tough love.
Holy cow, Mike! That is powerful. I’ve been witness to the isolation caused by video games when my nephew has visited. A three day visit and he emerged once–to eat.
You have just affirmed my resolve to keep those games from my kids–who have yet to show any interest in them. I hope they never do.
Ed (zoesdad)´s last blog post..It’s a Festival
@Ed (zoesdad) –
I’m glad you like it. Chuck said the same thing after reading it before I posted it this morning.
I remember being mesmerized by my Atari as a teenager (yes, I’m that old), but I don’t recall being as engrossed in it as most kids are in their games these days. I know a square “ping-pong” ball slowly moving accross the screen is not as addicting as a game with advanced graphics and cool sound effects, but it was dazzling to us then. However, we still knew when to “power down” the game system and go out and play a good, old fashioned game of cops and robbers, or kick ball in the sunshine.
If you ever get your kids a game, make it a Wii fit, and play it as a family.
Regards Ed. Thanks for commenting.
I know what you mean. I have a couple of those myself. Ours are not capable of figuring out what’s really important, so we’ve imposed limits on their play. If someone’s visiting, then the visitor gets our attention and the games and cellphones are put away. Period. Chore time and family time are blocked off as well; no DS, cellphones, ipods or any other individual time-sink are allowed during that time. Hang in there. Parenting sometimes requires being the bad guy.
Tom´s last blog post..When Everything Changes
This, hopefully, is just a phase. How old is your son? I would encourage you to enlist your son in some type of organized sports, when I was a boy I used to sit in front of my computer and play violent computer games until my mother started making me play sports. This made me socialize with others and has left me healthy with motivation to stay healthy. Just a suggestion. Good luck and regards!
I can see that starting with my son and daughter. She is away at college and he LOVES his Wii. I have encouraged them to do things together, just the two of them, when she’s home for visits. Hopefully they will take my advice and not miss out on each other.
Tara R.´s last blog post..Random Wednesday ~ meditation
We have a DS at home and my wife and I parcel out minutes to them as a reward or as a family activity. We do not allow them to play the DS unsupervised.
Mocha Dad´s last blog post..The Beagle Has Landed – Part I
Thanks for this post. We struggle with the kids (especially our boys) asking for the TV or computer games as a way to zone out. When we refuse, they complain of boredom. My grandpa used to say “only boring people complain about being bored.” I actually found myself uttering those words the other day. We have resisted getting a game system for a long time, and only recently have begun to consider getting a Wii. Jury’s still out. Either way, our rule about limiting “screen time” to one hour each day will still hold, regardless of what is on the screen.
Good luck with things and I’m sorry your son is so deeply missing his sister. Actually, maybe I’m not. It means there is a lot of love in that relationship.
All the best, MM
Midwest Mom´s last blog post..Raise the Curtain on Drama
@Tom –
Good ideas. I’ll have to implement something similar.
Thanks.
@Anonymous –
My son is 9, and he is in soccer. We, as a family, need to go out and do more active stuff together. With a new baby it can be rather difficult, but I still want to try and do something a couple of times a week (roller skating, etc.)
Thanks for commenting.
@Midwest Mom –
My brother finally got a Wii and we played a little bit of it on New Year’s Eve. He got something called Wii fit, which has caused his family members to try and outdo each other doing all the exercises. They all sleep soundly at night after 45 minutes, or an hour, of trying to outdo each other. I’ve been on the verge of getting one, but it is still a little cost prohibitive for us. If we get it, one thing is for sure, play times will be monitored.
Regarding their closeness, yes there is a lot of love there, but the dwindling visitation as the older child grows into adulthood is causing severe anguish for the younger one. It gets easier for him as the weeks go by, then comes the anticipation as he counts down the days of her next visit 2 months in advance. Then the cycle continues.
We had the same problem with our boys. My husband and I set up a schedule of times when the games could be played. My older son got 30 minute blocks and the younger got 15 minutes. They only get these blocks if their chores and schoolwork is done. The schedule is adjusted around visitors, family time and such. And the time is adjusted for both good and bad behavior. We implemented this about a year ago and it seems to work well.
The story is awesome.
@lorraine –
My wife and I are talking about having my son earn some money if he does extra chores around the house. Maybe we can give the option of do extra chores for either money or screen time.
Thanks for commenting. Come back soon.
Mike, very good read. Both of my kids are addicted to video games. One is addicted to online computer games and the other X-box Live.
I’ve analyzed this behavior to death and I just don’t know what to think. It’s definitely not the traditional way of growing up. When we had our last family gathering at Christmas, it seemed like the only thing the kids wanted to do was play video games.
Lately, I’ve come to accept the fact that the world (the way in which we play and interact) is just changing, but I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I definitely don’t want them looking back at their lives thinking they’ve missed out on it. Also, after watching WALL-E, it just doesn’t seem to be the way to live.
In all fairness, I started to do some “catch-up” reading and started w/this one. Then to the Compassion of one child toward another, and on to the questions about God.
Sorry for the spelling-I’m old.
I like the idea that a Wii set up is being considered:-) He really is a charming and tender young man. Poor thing just inherited a tidge of obseivness from a couple angles.
I remember well, not too long ago, a boy sat on a porch ALL DAY with a BB gun shooting at a soda can hanging on a string till the bottom half fell to the ground.:-) He couldn’t shoot at all that morning..
Any child that can stir up some good conversation about the curiosities of faith has no problems getting his priorities in place, as his busy mind gives him a minute or few. You’re both great parents.
gramma´s last blog post..4 ways to give up smoking for good
Oh man – that’s a hell of a story. I can’t wait for the movie!
In all seriousness, a close friend of mine has gone through something very similar with his boys. Like anything with kids, I’m sure it’s just a phase but it probably seems like things will never change.
Tyler @ Building Camelot´s last blog post..How To Add Icons To Your Thesis Alert And Note Styles
@rbrainard –
Thanks for commenting, and for the kudos.
Regarding the movie Wall-E. If you sat through the credits there was a little bit of an epilogue going on in the background as the credits rolled. It was a story unto itself, letting us know that we should use robots and computers as tools to make life a little easier, but not to take control over your life completely.
I agree with you. Things have changed since we were kids. As a child I do remember my father telling me about things they used to play as kids, like a game called kick-the-can, quite a contrast compared to the way I was playing. Times will change, and so will the way kids play, but there is the timeless need for them to get up, go outside, and get fresh air and sunshine. Who knows, maybe these kids will grow up and build robots to play kick-the-can with their kids……outside………. in the fresh air and sunshine.
Wow, what a well written and powerful post. Thank you.