Each evening as the little ones are tucked into their beds invariably Mom or I are called upon to tuck them in one more time. As the favored among us goes about our parental duty the other has a far greater task at hand as they slowly approach the freezer and pull from its heavenly glow the ice cream. The ice cream that no child can truly appreciate. The ice cream that has never known the existence of the descriptors sugar free or low fat. Yes, this is our ice cream.
The role of the other parent is to quietly bring the bowls from the cupboard and fill them to the point of brimming. The flavor of said ice cream is really inconsequential. The true joy lies in the act of eating it. Eating it without children. This is the one thing we don’t share. With anyone.
By the time the chosen one emerges from the children’s room the bowls have already found their way into the basement living room. Side by side they sit on the end table between the couches, and so the only couple of hours we have to ourselves begins. Bliss absolute bliss.
One such evening we hear a sound. Like practiced ninjas the bowls are placed on the table and covered with a napkin as we sit quietly, judging the silence.
Someone is moving.
They are close now.
We hear them stop at the top the stairs and my wife and I share a glance. The glance that says without words, “It’s your turn, isn’t it?”
From the top of the stairs comes the call, “Mom … Dad”.
“You guys are supposed to be in bed. What’s the problem?”
“We can’t sleep.”
“Why not?”
“We hear bowls scraping.”
I blame this on their mother. She hears everything. Next time we’ll eat directly from the container. That must be quieter, right?
Chuck, the post was really funny, but the title with it? Yeah, you totally made me pee my pants this morning. HEEEEEESTERICAL.
Mr Lady´s last blog post..You Don’t Bring Me Flowers
Plastic spoons will cut down on the scraping sound even more.
Tara R.´s last blog post..Talkin’ smack
You need a diversionary noise. Maybe ice cream time should also be “running tennis shoes through the dryer” time as well. Or maybe “stripping and sanding the cabinets” time.
I’m with you on the “No Child Shall Share” thing. For my wife and me, it’s usually cheesecake.
tom´s last blog post..Crisis!
You nee some plastic bowls!
Damn you! I just got my kids to sleep–now everyone is awake wondering why I’m laughing so hard.
Ed (zoesdad)´s last blog post..I Had Visitors
Yes, besides who needs bowls? when your going to eat the whole bucket right? or maybe that’s just me.
orlund´s last blog post..Friday’s Photo: Bath Time Fun
@Mr Lady – I don’t do the writing funny thing real well so it means a lot that you stopped to comment. Thanks!
@Tara R. – one vote for plastic spoons. Thanks Tara!
@tom – Excellent idea Tom. I may even be able to throw my wife off with that one.
@Ed (zoesdad) – one vote for plastic bowls. Sorry about the laughing Ed. Even your kids should think this was funny.
@orlund – We are on the same page my friend!
Chocolate Peanut Butter, the epitome of yumminess that only Haagen-Dazs could capture and yes, the girls know it is OFF LIMITS.
How lovely to have such a ritual. Even if it is sneaky and conniving.
Treemama´s last blog post..And Suddenly Like That…
Nah, Children just have a built in radar system to sense both ice cream and parents having quality time together. Each of those situations requires the child to take the action and get in the middle of it.
WeaselMomma´s last blog post..Thanksgiving Fun
My wife and I have the same ritual & our answer has been plastic. No glass, no metal… plastic. Of course my problem the other night was that my daughter came out & used the excuse she could smell ice cream. Not sure how that happens…but notnetheless, we were busted. Do they make smell proof ice cream?? Does ice cream smell?
Thanks for sharing.
Chadwick´s last blog post..How cold is too cold for Fulmer to be a handicrapper?
Gosh. I need some hagen
burning windmill´s last blog post..Some Internet Art – a one year video
How funny! “We hear bowls scraping”. LOL! This is a great post!
They really do have a built in “hey they are doing something without us” built into their core don’t they?? My oldest and literally sniff out food we have stashed away for just the hubs and I..
Too funny.
Kim´s last blog post..Where is the bubble wrap?
@Treemama – It is kinda sneaky and conniving isn’t it? I’ll have to be forgiven for not letting that stop us.
@WeaselMomma – True enough.
@Chadwick – I think we’ll be moving to plastic too. Smell? Wow – I’m not sure how you combat that one. You could always go with a diversionary tactic as Tom mentions but I imagine diversions and smell could get a little stinky. Good luck!
@burning windmill – You and me both.
@Debbie Davis – Thanks. I could not believe it when she said that.
@Kim – It is noice to know that we aren’t alone. You’ll have to get one of those smell proof containers and label it prunes or some other offensive thing.
I agree about the plastic bowls, or wood. Wood would probably keep your hands from freezing as you enjoy your treat. They could even make your secret time more special.
RobMonroe´s last blog post..Countdown to 30 – 1986
Great story!
Rather than plastic, let me suggest a few responses that could work.
“I hear bowls scraping.”
- Yeah, it’s time for your mother’s prunes. (or insert other yucky food here — my kids would get the creeps if they thought we were eating chili after bedtime.)
- We’re doing the dishes. (They don’t need to know that the dishes in question are filled with deliciousness.)
- Ha! We were making noise to see which one of you naughty children would be the first to get out of bed! You fell for it! Ha HA!
Feel free to give any of those a try. Hope they work for ya.
Have a wonderful Thanksgiving. -MM