How to punish good parents
Jul 14th, 2008 | By Chuck | Category: Highlight, Mad DadI’m not terribly fond of people and when they are presented in large hoards my tolerance wanes even more. Maybe that first sentence stands to be corrected a bit. I’m not terribly fond of stupid, lazy, inconsiderate people.
This last July 4th found my family and I settling in for the fireworks display at the local fairgrounds. We made it to the grounds plenty early enough to get a good space and were even able to enjoy the local parade where tractors outnumber floats.
The inspiration for this post began as dusk was setting in. My girls were playing in the space between the row of parked cars, directly behind our vehicle and that of a friend, when a couple of boys made their way over to play too. This, in and of itself, didn’t bother me much. If the kids are good kids then the more the merrier. These kids weren’t all that good and, to make matters worse, their parents were nowhere in sight or at least weren’t making themselves known. We let the kids play while occasionally reminding the boys they were being a bit rough. Each time they were corrected we would look around in an attempt to find someone that might claim them as their own.
It wasn’t until the boys got decidedly rough, knocking my daughter to the ground, that an adult surfaced from the crowd. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the fact that I was reaching down to grab the kid by the scruff of his neck. She came bounding over in all her glory announcing that “you do not play with girls that way” and after a few moments ushered the boys off to their vehicle. Glancing after her I was able to see there were in fact several adults setting around that could have acknowledged these children.
As I mentioned, had these been well behaved kids I would have been fine with them playing with my kids. What I have a major problem with are those lazy parents that seem to lie in wait for the good parents to arrive. It’s as if they scan the horizon, or as much as they can, without actually moving, and send their children off to “make friends” without the courtesy of a warning cry or casual wave.
I see this happen all the time. The good parents stand with a look of concern, anger and occasionally pity on their face as they crane their necks to make eye contact with any adult that might own the savages that have invaded their mostly manageable family unit. More often than not the parents never make themselves fully known and instead you hear the scream of a child’s name followed by a rush of activity as the savages vacate the site.
You see, for the lazy parent this is an ideal situation. Once their children have invaded the good family it’s impossible for the good parents to simply let the children leave again without knowing the kids are heading back to their rightful owners. This is one of those things that make up the good parent. At this point the other parents can simply fade into the background.
Do us all a favor will you? Quit punishing the good parents and actually look after your children yourself or, for the love of all that is good, wear matching shirts so we can lump the lot of you together.
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Now that my kiddos are 23 and 14 I obviously don’t experience this as much anymore! But I completely understand where you are coming from! I hope your 4th of July turned out a bit better after this incident!
Have you had time to use your sundae scoop and cookbook yet? I have a new post, I would like you to check out! I’m curious to get a few DAD thoughts! Have a great day!
Thanks for stopping by Debbie! We have definitely enjoyed the ice cream scoop and the cook book is getting broken in soon. Thanks. I’ll be checking out the post you mention.
Oh Chuck, how very right you are. Also distressing is when this happens and said “bad parents” are actually related to you. It’s very awkward when you end up disciplining other people’s kids no matter how you cut it. And what I have often found is that the bad parents get upset when you attempt to place some boundaries on their kids. This happened at my sons first b-day party. My niece is like a little hell cat and runs around our house looking for things to destroy. To the point that I don’t want this child in my house anymore. Then when I say things to her, the parents clearly get upset with me. ME! Anyway, that could be another post altogether. What is wrong with people? Do they think they are doing their kids a favor or something?
Hi SWC. I unfortunately know exactly what you are referring to. I have a brother in law whose children are as ill behaved as they come. It has gotten so bad that we occasionally avoid family functions because it is just to awkward and annoying. We really hate this because we want our girls to know their cousins. It’s really pretty sad.
I recently just had a conversation about this on Friday night. We were at a kids birthday party in the back yard which was no bigger than a half an acre. I literally had to stop at least six bully attempts on my little guy because the parent of the almost seven year old was standing smoking in the corner. I can’t even begin to tell you how annoyed I was that I had to parent this child (once or twice would have been fine).
Anyway, long story short. I totally agree.
Kims last blog post..Weekly Winners July 7-13 2008
Hi Kim! It’s maddening isn’t it. It seems like some a common sense thing to watch your own children. I just don’t get it.
So true, so very very true. And it seems like there are so many of them out there. Fortunately I can recall in my own children’s life a situation that was very much the opposite. During a fourth of July celebration at the local park, some other kids were playing a game and, seeing my young daughter standing to watch, stopped then kindly asked if she’d like to join in, then asked our permission to have her play with them. I’d like to see more parents raising their children like that. Manners are not out of style, but seem to be hard to find in big crowds.
Toms last blog post..But Wait! There’s More!
That is a great story Tom. I’ve yet to see that kind of parenting display in a large crowd. Thanks for the dose of hope!
We don’t go out to too many places where there are large crowds but I have seen exactly what you are talking about at family gatherings, bad part about that is we know exactly who the parents are and they still do not care.
Married Leoss last blog post..Change
I’m so with you on this one. When I was in college I waited tables. The things that parents let their kids do in a crowded restaurant was amazing. My college kid worked in a women’s clothing store a couple of summers ago, she would tell me about parents using the dressing rooms as bathrooms for their kids and leaving the ‘evidence’ for them to clean up.
It does make you ponder over why they don’t get up, or respond, or even react…something! They would be more inclined to keep an eye on their mountain bike than their own flesh and blood. Maddening indeed.
By the way, I read your comments over at ‘What Dad’s Really Think” about porn. I thought your answer was brilliant, insightful and honestly? Very refreshing to read!! You have gained a loyal reader here…(oooh, and a new cre8buzz friend, too.
Bee Repartees last blog post..Gimme A Smooch
I get annoyed with lazy parents leaving their young children at the public library or in the play area at the mall playing with my kids. Lazy parent’s kids can be very good kids, but then I feel responsible to stay around until I see the “owner” return to claim their child.
Katys last blog post..5 things parents do that annoy their kids
You really do see this all too often. I’m not sure these parents are lazy as much as they just really don’t care. Not every parent has kids becasue they wanted them.
In my younger days, I worked as an Assistant Manager of a music store (remember? you used to buy things called cd’s, tapes and LP’s). In this capacity, I witnessed first hand how some people parented.
It was not uncommon on a Friday or Saturday night for kids aged 11 to 14 to be dropped off by there parents with a $100 and told to go to a movie and these parents would be back at such and such a time to pick them up. In the mean time, Mom and Dad would be free to go out to the bars or what ever it was they were going to do and didn’t want their kids in their hair
These parents were looking for a babysitter and figured the staff at the mall would do it for them. In one particular incident, the kids had walked into the mall and back out again following a couple of guys offering them booze. When the parents got back to pick them up, their daughters were in the parking lot, drunk and hanging out with older men. What was their reaction? What the hell were the workers doing at the mall that they would let this happen. Yes, it was our fault for not watching their kids. Thankfully, their lawyer told them it was best not to pursue this for it might actually end with them losing their kids.
Anyone ever contemplate licensing parents?
OhCaptains last blog post..We are leaving on a jet plane…
I have been meaning to comment on this post for a looooong time….sorry I’m late. Just getting caught up.
I’m not going to lie. I HATE the type of parents you are describing. I’ll also go a step further and say that it seems to happen, at least in my experience, with parents of boys the most. It happened to my daughter at the playground a while ago. This kid kept pushing her down the slide…not in a good way….her dad basically just sat there and let him do it. I swear I saw a hint of pride in the dads face. I finally ended up taking her out of there and telling him he should pay more attention to his kid…but he just waved me off. Maddening. Later that night, by the light of the full moon, I egged his house. Not really, of course. I couldn’t figure out where he lived.
matts last blog post..My Daughter’s Drawing Is Cooler Than Yours
Let me know if you find his house. I’m buying the eggs.
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