If only
Mar 26th, 2008 | By Mike | Category: Heart Strings, Mad Dad
More times than I care to remember I have read horrific news articles regarding parents hurting their children in ways, and for reasons, that I cannot even comprehend. It has gotten to the point that I don’t even want to read, hear, or watch the news anymore. I know that these occasions are usually cause for the media vultures to capitalize on and display in the guise of a “News Article”, when all it is meant to do is “appeal” to people’s morbid curiosity. I also know that these events are not that few, or far between.
In this country, did you know that you need to be 18 years old, and meet a slew of other requirements (including some kind of background check) to even be eligible to take an animal home from the local animal shelter? This is to ensure the animal will be placed in a good home, be well taken care of, fed properly, etc., etc., etc. (call your local shelter to check the veracity of these statements). Yet every day, newborns are taken home from hospitals by parents who didn’t want them to begin with, have substance abuse problems, or are simply still children themselves. What chance do these children have? Who are their champions? Sadly, these newborns’ futures are pretty predictable.
Whenever I hear of another sickening story involving the aforementioned I find solace in parenting blogs, albeit a small number. Unfortunately, loving, being proud of, and caring for your children is not nearly as newsworthy as its alternative, otherwise, we’d all be celebrities.
If only all children could have the childhood they all deserve. If only deserving couples who, for whatever reason, are unable to conceive could take over the parenting of unwanted infants children. If only all children’s futures were as important as those of pets. If only.
My wife writes…
It’s horrible to hear about some of the things people do to each other, but even more heartbreaking when the victim is a child; somehow worse still when it’s their own child… These kinds of stories make me want to hold my own children close for a moment and say a little prayer of thanks.
You’re right, it does seem that sometimes we as a society care more these days about treating animals humanely than other humans. I’ve also often thought how ironic it is that you have to get a license to drive a car, after taking required classes that explain how to properly handle one and a test to show that you can do so successfully. Not the case with parenthood, and the end results are so much more important. If only there were some sort of license required to be a parent.
I find it heartening to talk with other people (whether in person or in a forum such as this) who are just trying to be the best parents they can be to children who, thankfully, will never understand exactly how lucky they are.
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Mike, This really hits home for me. Thank you for posting this. How unbelievably true. I read a news story this morning about a guy who put his 2 month old daughter in the microwave. I physically shuddered. Fortunately the child lived but she bears the scars of this abuse for life. Other countless children bear the internal scars of being put down, belittled, made to feel small….etc. My own childhood was pretty lousy and I look at my son and see that I have the chance to do something good by being good to him. But what about the other kids out there? They deserve a good life just as much as he does. So sad. A license might be good!
SWC’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday - See Tuesday!
The story you mention is the one that broke the camel’s back, and was the reason for the post.
I’m glad to hear that your son has a great future, despite your own childhood.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on the matter.
Just like SWC, I took from my childhood what NOT to do with my own children. There does not have to be a continuing cycle of abuse and neglect… we can and MUST break that vicious circle and learn to care for all of our children.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Random Wednesday
Amen to that!
[...] « If only [...]
Mike,
I echo your sentiments entirely. I read that same story yesterday and I knew it was the reason behind this.
My wish is ‘if only’ a license, or training, or all the will in the world were enough to become that parent.
The irony is horribly clear.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Supplementing Spencer
I was actually thinking about you as I wrote this last night. The irony does not escape me.
Wishing you and ET all good things.
Regards,
Mike,
I wholeheartedly agree with you. I only saw the headlines and shuddered, I refused to read the story. When we adopted our children we had to endure the homestudy process. I said it then, and I will say it again….I wish every parent had to endure/pass the homestudy process. There would be far fewer child abuse/neglect cases in this world.
Alison’s last blog post..Footprints of a Family, our second adoption journey, part 10
It’s funny isn’t it… Over here in Singapore… drivers have a list of courses and tests. that they need to sit for, before they are allowed on the roads.
Unfortunately, there are no such requirements for parenting.
ED’s last blog post..SMS - Text Messaging Beyond the ordinary me
We too have our versions of courses and tests for driving.
There are parenting programs(classes/courses) that you can volunteer for put on by local hospitals for expecting parents, but I think this should all start in the home. This is cliche, but true - Kids learn what they live.
it is totally sad reading/hearing/watching the news now a days… Most recently here, a lady tossed her kids off of a freeway overpass and then jumped herself… all over an argument with her boyfriend. I can’t imagine not being able to see my beautiful girls’ smiles, and feel their hugs… I wish there was some sort of parenting classes for people… Lord knows people need something…
Mommy’s last blog post..Hoppy Easter Everyone!!!
I’m sorry to be a downer, but I just had to let frustration out.
Thanks for dropping by.
The problem I see, is many of the parents that commit these crimes could pass the license test no problem. Many smart, well educated people are just as horrible with their kids as the totally ill-prepared person that couldn’t pass the test.
I don’t think we can ever legistlate that people love their kids. We just need to love as many of them as we can. Keep an eye on your kid’s friends. Make sure that you are always the parent and let all the kids you meet know that you love them all.
I’ve seen many kids that came from terrible homes, find a parent through their friends. Kids know more than you can imagine. They seek out parents if they don’t have one.
OhCaptain’s last blog post..How to stay warm inside
Excellent point. The smart one’s would pass easily.
Legislation is hardly ever the answer for anything. I think, in this case, breaking cycles is the best (utopian) solution.
Great comment OhCaptain! Thanks for sharing it.
My daughters school has classes that teach basic life skills and one of the lessons was about parenting. All the kids had to bring home these dolls that could be programmed in different ways to simulate the various baby issues, feeding, changing , etc.. The baby would cry and the kids would need to figure out what the problem was and until they did the doll would just keep crying. It was a rough couple night for our daughter, lol. They even had to take the doll EVERYWHERE they went since the computer chip in them would tell the teacher how well the doll was taken care of. All in all we thought it was a valuable lesson for the kids and I think that they should really make this a requirement in every school.
Married Leos’s last blog post..A part of me died last night…….
I think those dolls are cool too. Back in the day they used to use bags of flour.
[...] it looks like North Texas has the right idea. A nice find considering Mike’s post on the same topic not so long ago. A few similar posts:Five short months [...]