In church yesterday I watched as a father held his little girl in his arms. She was about five or six, and had her legs wrapped around his waist for support as she peered at the people towards the back of the church.
The service started and we all stood up. The little girl’s attention was quickly drawn to a fuzzy piece of fluff that floated near her face. As she clawed and reached for the fluff she created invisible eddies of wind causing the fluff to dance around wildly, thwarting her every attempt at catching it.
An elderly gentleman of about 80 sat behind this family and watched as the child exuberantly engaged herself in this seemingly impossible task. The little girl’s father asked her to quit, and this was enough to distract her from her goal for a few seconds. While she was turned away the old man put his hand out at waist level, and patiently waited as the fluff gracefully landed in the palm of his hand.
As the little girl spun back around to continue her single minded attempt at what seemed like an impossible goal the old man kindly put his closed hand close to her and gently opened it to reveal her quarry. She happily took it from him and settled down beside her parents.
I just sat and took it all in with a smile on my face. The patience and wisdom of someone who’s “been there”, gracefully achieving in mere moments what an inexperienced, exuberant, energetic child may have never achieved had she tried all day. Had this old man let her continue her antics, she could have easily lost interest after a few minutes and let her goal slip away on someone else’s shoulders.
How often do we dismiss the tutelage of our parents? How often do our children dismiss our knowledge as ancient history, or irrelevant in today’s world? How many goals have slipped away because of inexperience, or over exuberance? Are we the old man, or are we the child?
I am both.
I believe my biggest fear of disapointment (when I allow my mind to drift off in daydreams of fatherhood), is the thought that my child(ren) would not understand or appreciate how much I want to help them, especially in terms of my own experiences and those that lie ahead of them. The thought that they would ‘use’ me for as long as they thought necessary and then ‘pass’ on my advice when it comes to the important aspects later in life leaves me with the shivers.
Having said that, I know that I have taken very very little advice from my own father, rightly or wrongly. While by no means a good Dad, I often wonder now if he had more to offer in terms of advice or wisdom, and, does he feel the same disappointment at my indifference to it.
Just like I fear the future could hold for me.
Although causing some bittersweet emotions to surface, this is my favourite entry on here to date. Well done.
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I think we all have a mix of both; the ratio is what I question. I too was headstrong in my formative years (and then some) and to this day my mistakes still affect my life, and the lives of those I love, on a daily basis.
Unfortunately, my friend, the reality is that we will be beacons to our children for only a short time. We need to make an impression on them quickly. Sooner or later we will be the annoying warning light at the crosswalk. Our warnings may make good sense, but where is the exhilaration in staying safe on the sidewalk, when they can dart through the traffic, just to see if they can get to the other side with only minor scrapes and a few honked horns?
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I concur that this post draws out some interesting, if not ambivalent, emotion. Upon reading it I immediately told Mike that it was also my favorite post. As always, thanks for your contribution to D is for Dad.
Michael, you never cease to amaze me with the depth of your person. Thank you for sharing that story.
Oh pshaw! *blush*
Beautiful. A brilliant observation and entirely appropriate application of it. It took me until I was about 35 to finally figure this out for myself. I hope my kids don’t take as long.
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Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I love this post – a beautiful description of an arguably ordinary (yet special and meaningful) interaction.
I’m a mix of the old man and the child, too. I try to pass on wisdom and life lessons, yet I know I still have so much to learn.
I’ll be thinking about this post all day.
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I love this post Mike. These thoughts have been going through my head right now as my daughter nears her teen years. I didn’t appreciate my parents until I became a parent. I am trying to instill morals and values in my daughter…will she be like me when I was her age?? I hope not…but..we will see!!!
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Here’s to hoping our kids don’t treat us like we treated our parents.
Thanks for stoping by.
LOVE this post, and I LOVE the comments.
It’s really great stuff, I don’t want to forget the message. I really don’t
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A beautiful story and I could ’see’ the exchange between the older man and little girl. We really do need to pay more attention to what our elders can teach us, especially as we become parents ourselves.
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Awful thoughts! I am impressed by the kindness of the old man. He could’ve been annoyed by the distraction caused by the little girl. Instead he patiently indulged her, but didn’t bother her feather until she was turned around. There’s a lesson there for us older ones.
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What a beautifully written post. One of life’s constants, the young’s rush to nowhere vs. the patience and experience of the older and wiser. Only since I’ve become a parent have I come to appreciate some of the decisions my parents made; while I don’t 100% agree with all of them, I’ve come to understand that they came from what they knew, and with our best interests at heart.
Nice that you were able to witness such a simple, precious moment.
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Thank you.
Ditto on the “Only since I’ve become a parent” part!
What an absolutely beautiful post!
Blog Hopping~
Shannan aka Mommy Bits
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Well thank you! I’m glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by.
It’s great when we get these little moments to observe other children and their parents. I always think just a little differently about my kids after these.
Blog Hoppin’,
Balancing Hops
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Great post! That is the kind of story that makes you sit back and smile. Thanks.
James
James’s last blog post..Once Bitten!
I love when we see the amazing in the everyday. Thanks for sharing.