Comments on: Fathering, not a spectator sport http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/ Parenting from a Dad's eye view Tue, 06 Jan 2009 15:21:24 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: TheOfficer http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/comment-page-1/#comment-2086 TheOfficer Wed, 15 Oct 2008 03:09:07 +0000 http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/#comment-2086 Chuck, great analogy! Even though I've never been divorced with kids, I can totally feel what you are saying. While reading this post, however, it made me think: "how important is it really to do all the right things as a dad?" After a long, painful, and thoughtful process that is only left with a fragile conclusion, I kind of compared the strategies and tactics of a team (as found in a team sport) to doing all the right things a dad should do and believe there's much more to it than that. Furthermore, I would not relate to it as a win more than I would as a success. For example, you can just pick any player for the team. It has to be the right player as there is also some sort of formula and chemistry that goes along with it. Here is some food for thought: "Why is it that there are some people (friends, family, etc.) that I can always easily just pick up where I left off no matter when I see them, even in long distance relationships and then there are others that we just can't seem to make it work or things just never seem to build with them no matter what we do or how hard we try? I'm no Dr. Phil but what I came up with is I'm thinking it has to do with this formula and chemistry and I think love for your kids is a really big part of this formula. I think you already have this and therefore, I think you will achieve great success as a father!<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('2086','TheOfficer'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('2086','TheOfficer','Chuck, great analogy! Even though I\'ve never been divorced with kids, I can totally feel what you are saying. \r\n\r\nWhile reading this post, however, it made me think: \"how important is it really to do all the right things as a dad?\" After a long, painful, and thoughtful process that is only left with a fragile conclusion, I kind of compared the strategies and tactics of a team (as found in a team sport) to doing all the right things a dad should do and believe there\'s much more to it than that. Furthermore, I would not relate to it as a win more than I would as a success.\r\n\r\nFor example, you can just pick any player for the team. It has to be the right player as there is also some sort of formula and chemistry that goes along with it. Here is some food for thought: \"Why is it that there are some people (friends, family, etc.) that I can always easily just pick up where I left off no matter when I see them, even in long distance relationships and then there are others that we just can\'t seem to make it work or things just never seem to build with them no matter what we do or how hard we try? \r\n\r\nI\'m no Dr. Phil but what I came up with is I\'m thinking it has to do with this formula and chemistry and I think love for your kids is a really big part of this formula. I think you already have this and therefore, I think you will achieve great success as a father!'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Chuck, great analogy! Even though I’ve never been divorced with kids, I can totally feel what you are saying.

While reading this post, however, it made me think: “how important is it really to do all the right things as a dad?” After a long, painful, and thoughtful process that is only left with a fragile conclusion, I kind of compared the strategies and tactics of a team (as found in a team sport) to doing all the right things a dad should do and believe there’s much more to it than that. Furthermore, I would not relate to it as a win more than I would as a success.

For example, you can just pick any player for the team. It has to be the right player as there is also some sort of formula and chemistry that goes along with it. Here is some food for thought: “Why is it that there are some people (friends, family, etc.) that I can always easily just pick up where I left off no matter when I see them, even in long distance relationships and then there are others that we just can’t seem to make it work or things just never seem to build with them no matter what we do or how hard we try?

I’m no Dr. Phil but what I came up with is I’m thinking it has to do with this formula and chemistry and I think love for your kids is a really big part of this formula. I think you already have this and therefore, I think you will achieve great success as a father!

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]]> By: Loz http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/comment-page-1/#comment-785 Loz Fri, 14 Mar 2008 00:28:21 +0000 http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/#comment-785 Chuck Because I spent the first year of separation trying to work out who and what I was, I dropped the ball with my kids for a while. Sometimes it is easy to spend the time regretting decisions rather than enjoying the moment with them. Thanks for the reminder. <em>Loz's last blog post..<a href='http://midlife-journey.blogspot.com/2008/03/they-dont-understand.html'>They Don't Understand</a></em><div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('785','Loz'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('785','Loz','Chuck\r\nBecause I spent the first year of separation trying to work out who and what I was, I dropped the ball with my kids for a while. Sometimes it is easy to spend the time regretting decisions rather than enjoying the moment with them. Thanks for the reminder.\n\n<em>Loz\'s last blog post..<a href=\'http:\/\/midlife-journey.blogspot.com\/2008\/03\/they-dont-understand.html\'>They Don\'t Understand<\/a><\/em>'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Chuck
Because I spent the first year of separation trying to work out who and what I was, I dropped the ball with my kids for a while. Sometimes it is easy to spend the time regretting decisions rather than enjoying the moment with them. Thanks for the reminder.

Loz’s last blog post..They Don’t Understand

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]]> By: Chuck http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/comment-page-1/#comment-770 Chuck Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:33:59 +0000 http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/#comment-770 Amy, thanks for the comment and the compliment. :)<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('770','Chuck'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('770','Chuck','Amy, thanks for the comment and the compliment. :)'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Amy, thanks for the comment and the compliment. :)
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]]> By: Chuck http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/comment-page-1/#comment-769 Chuck Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:32:36 +0000 http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/#comment-769 Thanks SWC. Your comment means a lot. It is really important to get some validation from someone who has been there!<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('769','Chuck'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('769','Chuck','Thanks SWC. Your comment means a lot. It is really important to get some validation from someone who has been there!'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Thanks SWC. Your comment means a lot. It is really important to get some validation from someone who has been there!
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]]> By: SWC http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/comment-page-1/#comment-768 SWC Mon, 10 Mar 2008 17:08:46 +0000 http://www.disfordad.com/2008/02/29/fathering-not-a-spectator-sport/#comment-768 Chuck - thank you for this post. While I'm not much a sports person, I get the analogy and I love it. I am a child of divorce. My parents got a divorce when I was 3 1/2 years old. I want you to know that the best thing that you can do as a parent is to make sure that your kids know how much you love, how much you value them, how much you want to see them every day. My mom took off on me and my brother when we were really young and would call us sporadically. My dad, despite making plenty of his own mistakes, did a good job of at least letting me know that he loved me. For this reason, I grew up feeling love from someone. And I needed maybe a little extra because I wasn't getting it from my mom. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that even though divorce is obviously not an ideal situation, you have it within your control to do all that you can to show those kids how much you value them by putting them first and loving them and making good choices in your life to lead by example. This post really hit me. Thank you for being a good dad who cares. <em>SWC's last blog post..<a href='http://idontwantatitle.blogspot.com/2008/03/week-two-veggie-girl.html'>Week Two - Veggie Girl!</a></em><div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('768','SWC'); return false;">Reply</a> - <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('768','SWC','Chuck - thank you for this post. While I\'m not much a sports person, I get the analogy and I love it. I am a child of divorce. My parents got a divorce when I was 3 1\/2 years old. I want you to know that the best thing that you can do as a parent is to make sure that your kids know how much you love, how much you value them, how much you want to see them every day. My mom took off on me and my brother when we were really young and would call us sporadically. My dad, despite making plenty of his own mistakes, did a good job of at least letting me know that he loved me. For this reason, I grew up feeling love from someone. And I needed maybe a little extra because I wasn\'t getting it from my mom. So I guess what I\'m trying to say is that even though divorce is obviously not an ideal situation, you have it within your control to do all that you can to show those kids how much you value them by putting them first and loving them and making good choices in your life to lead by example. \r\n\r\nThis post really hit me. Thank you for being a good dad who cares.\n\n<em>SWC\'s last blog post..<a href=\'http:\/\/idontwantatitle.blogspot.com\/2008\/03\/week-two-veggie-girl.html\'>Week Two - Veggie Girl!<\/a><\/em>'); return false;">Quote</a></div> Chuck - thank you for this post. While I’m not much a sports person, I get the analogy and I love it. I am a child of divorce. My parents got a divorce when I was 3 1/2 years old. I want you to know that the best thing that you can do as a parent is to make sure that your kids know how much you love, how much you value them, how much you want to see them every day. My mom took off on me and my brother when we were really young and would call us sporadically. My dad, despite making plenty of his own mistakes, did a good job of at least letting me know that he loved me. For this reason, I grew up feeling love from someone. And I needed maybe a little extra because I wasn’t getting it from my mom. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that even though divorce is obviously not an ideal situation, you have it within your control to do all that you can to show those kids how much you value them by putting them first and loving them and making good choices in your life to lead by example.

This post really hit me. Thank you for being a good dad who cares.

SWC’s last blog post..Week Two - Veggie Girl!

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