When my oldest daughter was younger I struggled with potty mouth (me, not her). I substituted "Friggin", or "Freakin’ " for the well known street vernacular, and thought I had won the battle.
I didn’t realize how much I swore, or "fake swore", until I took my daughter and her half-brother out for lunch one day. He was about 3 years old at that time. I took them to one of my favorite restaurants that served the best Chicken Fried Steak.
On our way to the restaurant I explained to the kids what we would be eating. The boy was perplexing me by the way he seemed worried about what we were having for lunch. I blew off the situation as a kid just being a picky eater.
After we ordered, and the waitress brought out our food, I watched as he looked at the meat and continuously poked, and flipped it over. I asked him what was wrong.
BOY: "Mike, Where are the eyes?"
ME: "What eyes?"
BOY: "The snake’s eyes!"
ME: "Why would there be snake eyes in your food?"
BOY: "Well you said we were having Freakin’ Fried Snakes!"
As I tried desperately to clear the stinging sensation of Coca-Cola in my nasal passages the trepidation I sensed in the car was made abundantly clear in that one instant. I also realized that I needed to do something about my language, specially around kids.
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A couple of years ago my sister’s aging Shi-Tzu finally passed away. My brother-in-law had repeatedly told my sister he wanted to take the dog in to the Vet to get it euthenized, but my sister resisted. The dog was suffering from so many different things, and my brother-in-law just didn’t want it to suffer anymore.
A few weeks later we were on our way to my sister’s house for a family get-together. As we drove I jokingly told my wife that my brother-in-law probably circumvented the euthenasia issue by feeding the dog copious amounts of Chinese Food leftovers. My whole family eats a lot of Chinese food, and MSG (loads of it in Chinese food) is deadly to dogs. I chuckled about my insensitive joke and promptly forgot about it.
A few hours into the gathering my sister came up to me and roughed me up because my son was scolding his uncle for killing their dog with Chinese food.
Freakin’ kids! 
(Yep! I’m a recovering Freakin’-ahol-ic)
But “it’s in your JEANS” son.
Oh no! Yep, we can’t get away with ANYTHING, can we?
Stephen’s last blog post..OH YEAH BABY! DALE JR WINS!!!
LOL my husband is always having to watch what he says around our three year old . Little Monkey is always repeating what Daddy says. I’m just waiting for one day when he says one of those “bad” words in church! YIKES!
Tiff@ Three Peas’s last blog post..Happy Birthday to You!!
My wife and I have seized the opportunity and use our son to repeat incredibly corny phrases. There’s nothing like hearing an almost-three-year-old kid saying, “Holy Smokes” or “Geez Oh Petes”.
@Lori Meek,
I seem to remember the incident, but don’t remember the story behind it.
@Steven, @Tiff,
Just think. In another couple of years the 4 month old will be in this same position and there will be a whole new bumper crop of “watch-your-mouth” stories that will be added to the family repertoire.
@Patrick,
Pre-programming!? I love it!
My older daughter used to “parrot” me and used to say “Holy Mackenroe” (Holy Mackerel). Off topic, but another cute thing she used to say was “Pol Nellish” (nail polish). We never corrected her. It was just too cute.
Okay… I just snorted soda out of my nose… “Freakin’ Fried Snakes” I know what I making for dinner tomorrow, that or ordering Chinese take-out.
Tara R.’s last blog post..Knowledge is power
First, the Freakin Fried Snakes made me spit out my lunch! Second. I learned, soon after my son could talk, that I should not say things, even in jest, in front of him. Lol. you have to love how their little minds work!
shannanb aka Mommy Bits’s last blog post..Random Bits..Romance, Pink Eye, Snow Days and more
@Tara R.,
That’s exactly what I did!
@shannanb,
They come up with the weirdest, stuff don’t they? I have forgotten so many of these little gems. I wish I had written them all down. Every once in a while something will jog my memory and I’ll laugh (*snort) all over again.
I also have to be very careful about what I say around my little parrots as well. My son said the B word the other day and I wanted to die laughing because the way he said it was so cute. I was able to maintain and explain to him that is a not nice word and he is a nice boy so he shouldn’t say things that are not nice. I don’t know if it worked but I hope that it did.
Sarah’s last blog post..Happy Valentines Day
@Sarah,
Luckily for me my son just laughs when he hears, or reads profanity. He tells me that they are bad words, but never repeats them.
I snorted out loud on that one. Great post and thanks for the laugh. Blog Hopping your way!
wornoutwoman’s last blog post..Artsy Fartsy
LOLOL! Ah, kids always remember the things we don’t *want* them to!
Happy Friday! Blog Hoppin’!
“Margarita Mom”