Daughter#2 is now a few days over 4 months old, and growing like a weed. She loves baths and people fawning over her. Her smile easily melts the hardest heart. (my blog entry regarding her birth)
She does have her quirks, and none of them ladylike. She belches like a trucker, and her bottom rumbles frequently. This might be due to lactose intolerance, but I prefer to think of it as genetics. Because of her loud rumbling it is sometimes hard to tell if she is expelling gas, or pooping. The only way to be 100% certain is to physically peek in her diaper; A risky proposition on it’s own.
She has also taken to holding in her solids(and I use this term loosely) from 3-5 days, then lets it all out in one tremendous eruption. She has soiled, and stained, many an outfit and undergarment.
Bright Idea #1: I actually think that all baby undergarments(onsies) should be a Khaki or light mustard color. It would help to hide the stains that won’t wash off. I’ve tried using everything, including carpet cleaner, to no avail.
Bright Idea #2: I believe that diapers should have 2 systems of measure. Not only should they clearly indicate which size baby they fit, but they should also show how much poop they can hold before releasing their payload. Because of the little girl’s propensity to hold her “Mustard”, this would be a boon to me, and fathers like me, who like to push the limits of physics and good sense.
My wife and I drive in 2 different directions in the mornings. I take my son to school, while she drives the baby to the daycare. We recently switched routes, and kids, because she wanted to discuss things with my son’s teacher.
Everything was going well until I took my daughter in to her daycare and asked the day care lady (hereafter DCL) what the procedures were for dropping off the little one. She told me that my wife would lay the car seat down in the corner, pull the baby out and cuddle for about 5 minutes before handing her over and leaving the daycare tearfully. I went along with it…..until I pulled the baby out of the car seat. She had Biohazardous Material leaking out of her outfit’s leg cuffs, and her lower back was soaked. The car seat needed a good sanitizing as well. My wife and I lovingly refer to this as a “Blowout”. I looked at DCL in horror but she said she’d handle it. I kissed my baby on the top of the head (it was the only safe spot left) handed her over to DCL and promptly left. This scenario (blowout) was repeated several (2 or 3) times over the course of the week like clockwork. DCL was starting to look less and less enthused as I walked in the door in the mornings. The baby’s expulsions were getting more and more violent as the week wore on. By the end of the week the stuff was seeping from the back of her collar as I rushed the baby into the daycare. I would repeatedly, sheepishly tell DCL “She was clean when we left the house, and it’s only a 5 minute drive”. I don’t think she believed me.
The next week was back to normal. My wife was back to delivering baby, and I was back to delivering my son to school. When I got home from work that first night my wife laughingly told me that DCL said she liked it better when my wife brought the baby. I quickly replied “ME TOO!“
This is too funny and so familiar to me…both my kids did this on a regular basis….there were not many hand me downs suitable to hand down from my children!
Alison’s last blog post..Our Adoption Journey, epilogue
Whoa! I got lucky and have only had to deal with a couple blow-outs, and luckily they all happened at home.
I agree…they should sell diapers with different load ratings…kinda like tampons. Light, Regular, and Super! LOL!
Jared’s last blog post..Hat Trick (Pics)
@Alison,
Ha! I’m glad I’m not alone. SOLIDARITY!
@Jared,
Lucky you! Just wait until you have to deal with blow-outs in public. It’s not fun.
Hopefully you over-pack your diaper bag for those “heavy” days.
Ahhh, I have a soft spot for this one…I think there are many different kinds of diapers and the one you speak of is technically referred to as, “the exploding up the back diaper.” That is a technical term of course and “blowout” although it is a slang form is also acceptable. Those diapers are nastiness defined…my youngest is out of diapers…LOL!!! Yay me!
@Joe,
You lucky bas…I mean Good for you Joe!
Just think, soon they’ll be changing us, then we retaliate. Revenge is a dish best served with a side order of reek.
I can so remember those explosive diaper days… mustard colored onesies? BRILLIANT!
Tara R.’s last blog post..Celebrity endorsement du jour
Oh yeah, the biohazard diapers. I remember those well.
hehehehe…good luck with that
It’s posts like these that make me rethink my desires to have just one more…
LunaNik’s last blog post..Lonely Girl
@Tara R.
Yeah (sigh), I’ve got a ton of great ideas. Too bad I’m too chicken to try and make money off them.
@LunaNik,
Thanks!
C’mon…..just one more!
thanks for the add to your blogroll…I will return the bloggy love!!
also, thanks for the great comment on my Adoption Journey posts…your kind words meant so much to me!!
Alison’s last blog post..Awards…Awards!!!!
We called them blowouts, too! Hubby never had to deal with one in public, but he seemed to get them in the bathtub (hehe) quite frequently.
My favorite one (please, detect sarcasm here) was when we were potty training and he was at the top of the play area at McDonalds. God only knows what he left in the top of that tube slide! I seriously thought about leaving him there, dripping in the poop, but I was afraid he might try to eat the corn. Sorry, TMI!
Blue Momma’s last blog post..He Did It!! FINALLY!
Man, I was already not looking forward to having to change diapers. This is so disturbing, I actually almost pooped myself.
Kris
Kris’s last blog post..Level 31 Pregnant Human Female
@Kris,
This is probably the least of your worries. I have a teenager, an 8 year old, and a 4 month old. I pretty much have a child in every point of the kid spectrum, or at least the spectrum extremes. Let me tell you, the one in diapers is probably the easiest, just not the most convenient.
You’ll do/be fine! Just check your gag reflex at the door.
@Blue Momma,
Oooooh! Muddy water. We have not had the pleasure of those with this particular child.
Yuck!
@Alison,
You’re welcome.
she is adorable- looks like you?
I love yr ideas
amy’s last blog post..I come back to the place you are
@Amy,
Yes she does-poor thing.
Thank you. I’m pretty proud of them myself.