Christmas vacation is over, and we just got back from seeing my oldest daughter off at the airport. She’ll be back with my ex-wife within a few hours. We were all up at 4:40am to be at the airport in enough time for a 7:40am departure. Who booked this freakin’ flight anyway!
The trip to the airport was light hearted. The kids were in the back seat, ribbing each other playfully. The drive back was more somber. My wife sat in the back seat with my son, hugging him as he sobbed on the drive home. He misses his sister terribly, and still can’t understand why she chooses to live “there”, instead of with us.
This only is the fourth time daughter #1 has flown by herself. In the past I always called her and counseled her days before her trip; “Make sure to pack enough underwear! Don’t forget your medication! Bring something to read on the plane!” and the list would go on. Before her return trip, I would pack her suitcases, making sure every article of clothing was taking up every bit of space in the suitcase. Yes, I’m anal that way (among other things).
Last night was a big eye opener for me. Before I even told her to, Daughter #1 asked me to “supervise” her packing. I was told, in no nonsense terms, that I could only offer some advice but that she would do the packing herself. I watched as she carefully folded all her clothes neatly in the suitcase, cramming breakable presents and odd shaped items in her spare shoes, and she even made a list of things not to forget in the morning – toothbrush, charging IPOD, jacket in the dryer………
Who was this young lady, and what did she do with my scatter-brained, sloppy, little girl? This was totally out of character. She was methodical and meticulous. She’s definitely growing up, and growing up well despite the instability at her other home I might add.
Knowing the chaotic nature of her everyday life, this sudden revelation (or insight) has given me a sense of peace. She showed responsibility, and increasing maturity during this visit. Although she looks, talks, and smells just like her, this young adult was definitely a different person from the one that came to visit last year. I think she’s going to be just fine.
As we stood in a tight embrace at the airport I told her how proud I was of her, and how much I loved her. Although we’re just a little more accustomed to it at this point, the ache and emptiness during her absence will always be there.
Mike – I’m not sure why the comments on personal posts like this aren’t as forthcoming as other types of posts. We’ve talked about this before.
I really appreciate you sharing this. Your little girl has turned into a nice young lady and you should be proud of her. You should also be proud of the impact you and the rest of your family have had in her life. I know I have struggled with my contribution to my oldest kids lives on many occasions. But the reality is that they do listen, and most importantly they observe. You know as well as I do that the stability and consistency in your household has had a very positive impact.
None of this makes the goodbye’s any easier, and for that I am sorry.
Keep on keeping on – I’m looking forward to next years update!
@Chuck,
I have 2 theories:
1) I like watching Science Fiction movies because they are an escape from reality. For 90 minutes I can lose myself in another place and temporarily forget my problems, worries and fears. I don’t like watching “Chick Flicks” because they are all too real and things depicted in them surround my everyday existence. Why watch a movie of your own life? I believe this to be true for blog readers as well, although there are the occasional few that empathize and sympathize. In a nut shell my writing is like a “Chick Flick”, and people would rather read fun, out of the ordinary, stuff. Totally understandable. I’ll have to find another risque Gingerbread Man to liven things back up.
2) Lack of blog comment reciprocity on my part.
Thanks.
@Mike,
I’m sure you are right on both counts. Admittedly I enjoy a “chick flick” as much as the latest Die Hard or Lethal Weapon clone. I appreciate the story of everyday life and the ultimate understanding that one isn’t necessarily alone in their trials or victories.
It seems I am solidly setting in the “occasional few” and I’m ok with that.
Oh, and yeah, you should be commenting more.
Mike,
It’s with a tear on my cheek that I write this response to you, for I can feel your sadness, your pain, and your pride. I don’t know what else to say, other than she’s your daughter and even though you aren’t together all the time, she loves you and vice versa.
Sincerely,
Mishelle
Secret Agent Mama’s last blog post..Project 365 (137/365)
@Secret Agent Mama,
Thank you Mishelle. That means a lot. I hope that you (reader/s) never have to go through this. It is heart rending.
It must be very hard to cope with your daughter living a plane ride away. I feel for you.
Dan’s last blog post..A cigarette by any other name would still smell as foul
@Dan
It certainliy is painfull. It’s even worse now that her visits have gone from 2.5 months a year all the way down to 2 weeks a year.
Thanks for the sympathies.
Dear Mike,
I was just re-reading some of these, they’re all wonderful & I’m so proud that you’re my daughter’s husband!
This story in particular is a reminder today, with no holiday or anything but I think you already know by watching myself with Jen.;
It will ALWAYS feel like that, no matter how old your babies get.
“specially’ when 1st one leaves home to go live their life. (no one told me that in advance) But she left, I cried often but that’s me, as you know.
I’m so very comfortable w/the fact that if she has to be so far away from Alaska, she’s with all of you and life is good and happy for you all. What a wonderful family.
You are a great son-in-law! A great Daddy AND a great man.
I love you all and miss you so much.
Lori