Christmas 2007 - Lessons Learned
Dec 29th, 2007 | By Chuck | Category: Papa Prattle, Public ServiceIn the project management world there is a document called, “Lessons Learned”. This document contains just what you would expect, the lessons learned while working on a project, and is done when the project is completed. While I don’t consider the Christmas holiday a project, the lessons learned methodology still applies.
My wife always does a wonderful job of making any family event as special as she can and I don’t mean this in the annoyingly over the top and occasionally pushy way that some people make their family events “special”. She does it through the small things like making sure the right kind of food is around. She lights candles at just the right time so a pleasing scent can waft through the air almost unnoticed. She pays attention to the detail. The detail I always ALWAYS forget and almost no one appreciates. I love her dearly.
This year my wife had to work on Christmas day. She works third shift a couple of times a week and naps with the little ones in the afternoon on these days. Late in the evening, after all the kids had gone to bed, she called home and we talked for several minutes. She commented that she doesn’t think she’ll be going right to bed when she gets home in the morning because she misses her girls. She goes on to say that she doesn’t feel like she got to see the kids enjoy their gifts and would like to just spend some time playing with them.
A little later I head upstairs on the way to bed and look around. The toys are mostly organized in the living room. There isn’t any packaging to be seen. The kitchen is nice and clean. There is one candle left burning in the corner. As I walk over to blow out the candle it dawns on me (yes, I know I can be a bit slow) that I got to see the kids enjoy their gifts. I played on the floor with them and helped them discover their new treasures. I did do some picking up throughout the day but couldn’t take too much credit for the house being as put together as it was. My wife deserved the credit.
Looking over the day I should have paid more attention to where my wife was, and wasn’t. I should have noticed her spending too much time in the kitchen and taken her place so she could play and visit. I think as Dads we tend to gravitate toward play-time with the kids but we need to remember that mom needs this play time as well.
This was my lesson learned this holiday. If this hits a little close to home it might be your lesson too.
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Wow, Chuck. So very eloquent, so poignant, so concise. Has your wife seen this post? If not, this is a must print out to leave for her when she gets home from work.
She’s a very fortunate woman to have such a loving and caring husband. Well done.
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Chuck, Holy Cow!! You made me cry with this one!! Nothing gets me more than to hear a man notice all the little things his wife does, and appreciate her for them. Thanks for sharing this. Now go give your awesome wife a kiss!!
Cardiogirl and Karen, Thanks for the kind words. My wife has seen this post and I think I might have scored a few points. Nice way to end the year!
You’re so sweet to recognize the little things. I think we moms/wives just sort of go about the business of mommying and wifing (yes I just made those words up) and we don’t think about it. It’s nice to know that someone notices those pleasant subtleties.
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I totally get it. I need to do a better job noticing my wife’s contributions and run interference more for her.
Oh… I think… yes… there are tears in my eyes! You noticed AND you looked back and realized where you could have helped. My heart almost breaks with joy at the thought!
I have a wonderful husband who is perfect in so many ways. But I think I might just leave this window open “accidentally” so he can read it.
Chuck - wow. What a loving revelation. I’m glad you shared it with us.
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Awesome that you learned the lesson. Just wondering…could you please rub off on my husband?
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Chuck: What a great post and thank you for stopping by my site and leaving me a comment.
I’m always guilty of more play time than cook/clean time at home. That is until bath time. I let my wife bathe my daughter, and I head downstairs to clean the kitchen.
But like you said, it’s important for us guys to pay more attention to our wives and act accordingly.
Really great site. I’ll definitely be back.
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D really is for Dad, chuck. This is beautiful. What a lucky wife you have and what lucky kids to grow up in a home with this much awareness. Marriage and family is a beautiful thing, I love how you embrace it!
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@Deb - Thanks for the kind words! So, did your husband take the bait? I don’t know why I ask. It will be typical guy fashion to not let you know he read “learned” a thing.
@ SWC, Erica, Momo, and Josi - I am a bit embarrassed at how long it takes me to “get it” sometimes. I have a great marriage and really do look forward to how much better things can get the more aware I become.
@Tyler and Scott - Thanks for commenting - now you just need to take one for the team.
Thanks to everyone for the comments - it means a lot.
Very very nice. It’s so awesome that you even noticed what you hadn’t been noticing, you know? It gives me hope that someday my hubby will figure these things out…
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This is an awesome. Great stuff.. It actually made my heart ache (in a good way).
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It never hurts to be reminded that we men are mere mortals living in the shadows of goddesses.
Excellent post, Chuck!
Happy New Year to you sir.
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God Bless You Chuck!!
Dude, my wife should try and get me out of the kitchen, I prepared a dinner for 20 family members and did the prep dishes not to mention got everyone up and going in the morning…I was so busted up and tired after dinner I needed a break, but my wife was also tired and busted up from a long day too, so we left the kitchen a disaster until everyone left…I mean what’s the point? It’s better to visit and enjoy family than be cleaning like a bandit right?
Oh, that was so, so beautiful, Chuck. Add me to the list of teary eyed wives. So beautiful…
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Kudos to you for being able to step back and see that. Your wife and kids are very lucky to have such a thoughtful daddy. I often work too hard and miss the fun - it’s also an area for me, where I have to force myself to realize it’s okay to ask for help, too!
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