7 days
Nov 16th, 2007 | By Mike | Category: Humor CentralYears ago my family and I caravanned up to a Town called Frankenmuth in mid Michigan. We did some shopping, and sightseeing, and when lunchtime rolled around we ate at one of the famous restaurants in town. It served what it claimed was “The Worlds Best Fried Chicken!” , or something to that extent.
My 15 year old niece was about 6 or 7 at the time and was known to be a “food waster”. She would load her plate, despite her parents’ protests, and end up getting full with one or two bites. In order to keep the peace during our meal I spoke to my niece beforehand and told her that this particular restaurant did not like to throw food away. I embellished my lie a little more by saying that leftovers were met with the penalty of washing all the restaurant’s dishes. The bigger the pieces the longer you’d have to stay and wash. My niece rolled her eyes and laughed at Uncle Joker (her nickname for me at the time).
My breakdown of the consequences went something like this:
Breast = 3 days of washing dishes
Thigh = 2 days of washing dishes
Wing or Drumstick = 1 day of washing dishes
Looking at the prices on the menu one could deduce that the establishment was pretty proud of their chicken. Despite my previous efforts to head the “Food Waster” off at the pass she surprised everybody by asking for a 3 piece meal, complete with 2 sides, rolls and a soda. Her father, knowing full well what the future held, tried to reason with her to just get a one piece meal and said she could always order more pieces if she was still hungry, but she couldn’t be convinced. He finally gave up and let it go.
We sat and chit-chatted while our meals were being prepared. Soon the waitress came out of the kitchen and I grew worried as plates were placed in front of each of us. Each plate was nearly invisible under the Chicken-Clydesdale hybrid pieces. Those things were huge.
I sneaked a sideways glance at my niece who, by now, realized the folly of her choice. Her dad was specially worried due to the price of her meal. We didn’t have any coolers to take leftovers home, and it had taken several hours to get to Frankenmuth. The distance meant this food would not keep. Her father was pretty upset.
After all of us had eaten and were dividing up the bill, we noticed my niece still staring at her half eaten piece of chicken. The other two pieces had not even been touched. The chastising “I told you so’s” flew fast and furious so I decided to leave the table and wash my hands.
On the way to the bathroom I bumped into our waitress. I quickly formulated a plan and asked her to play a part in my theatrics. Her role - to head to our table, whip out her order booklet, act like she was counting something on my niece’s plate, write something down, say “That will be seven days”, then leave. She looked at me quizzically, but played along.
The waitress must have played her part well. I came back from the bathroom to find the grownups laughing and giggling while my niece was trying her hardest to choke down what was left on her plate. She looked at me with squirrel cheeks and dread in her eyes and said the restaurant was going to keep her for a week to wash the dishes until she paid off her “Leftover Debt”.
Bad Parenting? Who knows. But to date she does not plate more than she can eat.
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November 16th, 2007 at 2:05 pm
My daughter is this same way!! I’m so trying this soon! And I live near Frankenmuth but haven’t been there in ages…you’ve just made me hungry for one of those chicken dinners!!
November 16th, 2007 at 7:20 pm
Hey, nothing wrong with a little strategically applied scare tactics every once in a while. Good one!
November 16th, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Creative solution to a difficult problem. Does she remember it still?? Or just know that she better not waste food?
November 17th, 2007 at 10:15 am
@Shophie,
Oh this little jewel has never been forgotten. It gets recounted several times a year at family gatherings. She’s learned her lesson for life I think.
November 17th, 2007 at 10:17 am
@Karen C.,
I’m thinking I might head up there arouind Christmas time. I have not been there for years.
November 17th, 2007 at 10:21 am
@BusyDad,
I come from a pretty tight knit family. Tight enough that we parent each others kids.
I worry about my golden years and the tricks these kids will play on me in retaliation for these “life lessons” when I can no longer defend myself. (Switching the preparation-H and the polident)
November 17th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
This totally sounds like something my husband or I would do!
November 18th, 2007 at 12:59 am
having lived in michigan my whole life, i have been to frankenmuth…many times. my husband and i took 3 of our kids there, this past summer. i absolutely adore it there.
now, i’m dying to go there…soon! my mouth is watering. i don’t even care if my kids waste food…gotta get there. it’s only about 1 hour away from where i live…yay!
November 18th, 2007 at 7:51 am
This is a hilarious story. We live near Frankenmuth and I personally find the abundance of chicken dinners a bit disturbing. They’re truly everywhere you turn around. I cannot imagine to enormity of that pile of chicken in front of that girl! She must have been freaking.
November 18th, 2007 at 9:34 am
@Mishi,
Thank goodnes I’m not the only warped individual! I am not alone in my depravity.
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@melissa,
I wish I had had a camera ready to freeze that moment in time. The look she had was priceless (deer-in-the-headlights meets overpacked squirrel cheeks).
November 19th, 2007 at 3:36 am
Cruel, unusual and totally awesome. She totally deserved that. That reminds me of that old SNL gag called Deep Thoughts and the one with the uncle that told his nephew that Disney Land had burned down when he took the kid to an old abandoned warehouse or something. LOL stuff.