As parents we spend a fair amount of time hoping our children will do the right thing when it counts. Recently my son had an opportunity to do just that.
The football season was well underway and my son was really showing his chops. He was playing defensive tackle and nose guard and was leading the defense in tackles, points and yards. It is safe to say that this year, his Junior year, was probably the best year of his life.
The offense wasn’t having as good a go of it. They were struggling horribly. The Varsity quarterback had been injured in game one and was out for the season. They ended up moving a fifteen year old kid, Ronnie, up from Junior Varsity to fill the spot. This kid did a pretty good job the first couple of games. Any mistakes he made were under the umbrella of his age and inexperience. When game four came around and his performance was terrible Ronnie ended up getting demoted and rode the bench for most of the remainder of the season.
From the stands this seemed like the logical thing to do. I’m not one of those guys that spends the game second guessing the coach, well not the whole game anyway.
A few more games passed and the team continued to do well. The defense was carrying the victories simply by shutting down the opposing team. This next game was parents night and the last home game.
Parents night is pretty simple to explain. The parents of the players go onto the field with their football player and everyone’s name gets announced over the loudspeaker, pretty cool. While I milled around with the other parents waiting for things to get organized I was approached by a mom and dad I didn’t know. It turns out they are Ronnie’s parents and wanted to catch up with me before the ceremony began.
Upon introducing themselves they wanted to let me know how awful Ronnie felt after being reduced to riding the bench. How the kids, his teammates and classmates, picked on him during school and how difficult it was for him to maintain his self esteem. They then went on to explain that the day he was demoted was the most difficult and how a visit from my son made a big difference in how Ronnie perceived the setback.
It turns out that my boy was the only kid on a team of fifty that visited Ronnie at his house, simply to tell him to keep his chin up. To let him know that he had done a good job and was under crazy pressure. He let him know that he had a couple of great years ahead of him and that he looked forward to their playing together again.
I stood next to my son as the ceremony got underway and couldn’t help but swell with pride at the young man he has become, and the gentleman he is turning into.
Good on ya, boy. Good on ya.
I got the rare opportunity to have lunch with my nephew this summer while I was home on leave. As we sat at the table talking about school and football, his friends, grandma, home life, etc, etc….. There was a young woman who was cleaning up tables and putting up trays nearby. I believe that she had some sort of disability but was not quite sure. She chatted with my nephew as he waited for me to get back to the table and then explained to her who I was and what I did. She seemed to just want to keep talking and he did not seemed to be bothered by having this conversation while having his lunch. He just included her into whatever we were talking about at the time before she finally moved on to clean up somewhere else. I remember thinking to myself, most kids would have been rude or mean to this girl, but not him. Somewhere along the line between mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, step-mom, and step-dads, he has emerge as a young man who is surviving his situation with a lot more grace than most would imagine. I hug him tight whenever it is time to say goodbye and go back to wherever it is that I am living and look forward to the next opportunity to see him and the continual changes that he is going through to become a man.
@Aunt Libby – That is a special moment you shared and gives us a little more insight into the person he is growing to be. Thank you very much for the comment!
Now that’s a man I would be proud to call my son! You are very lucky. I’ve got a few years to mold my kid, but that’s definitely what I want to steer him towards.
I often remind my son that the only thing I hope for him with out waver…. beyond what he might do for a profession, or if he attends or graduates college, if he marries or if I ever have grandchildren, I only hope for him to be a good guy with a good heart.
He really is already, but sometimes in life there are influences that can cause us to lose sight of ourselves.
You must be quite proud of your son and his upstanding character.
glad I found your blog!
much respect~d
http://www.gulfcoastmommy.blogspot.com
@BusyDad and GulfCoastMommy – thanks for stopping by. I am certainly proud of the boy. We haven’t always had things go as well as one would hope (who has) but it has always been the heart that matters most.
GulfCoastMommy – I’m glad you found us too. Now I’m off to discover your site!
Sounds like you are raising a very thoughtful young man. I would have been proud too.
Thanks AntiBarbie – My son doesn’t live with me so there have been a lot of people involved in bringing him up right. I also believe a lot of who he is comes from his core and anything we may have screwed up along the way wouldn’t have ruined it. Thanks for commenting!
I’m tagging you!
I am so proud to call that young man (and you) my nephews!!!!